𝗥𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗮𝗺𝗮

Earlier this year, I wrote about losing my mom. Putting parts of that journey into words has been part of my healing.

Recently, a quote found me, from Patti Smith:
“𝙂𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙪𝙡𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙪𝙡. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙣𝙞𝙛𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚.”

I’m still riding the waves of grief, moment by moment, milestone by milestone. I’ve made it through the holidays and her birthday - now, with Mother’s Day approaching, I’m reflecting on how to honor her as I continue to heal.

I cared for my mom, who had been sick on and off for 30 years. Last summer came the worst diagnosis—pancreatic cancer—which quickly ravaged her. I remember a video call with her doctor after the diagnosis. He asked her to describe herself, and she smiled and said, “𝙄’𝙢 𝙖 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧. 𝙄 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨." I had never heard her say that, and it struck me deeply—it resonated because I feel the same: I grow and develop people. Even in that overwhelming moment, a seed of connection was planted that continues to grow.

Our garden has become a space of growth and remembrance. Mom loved gardening. So do I. Over the years, I gave her many plants—now they mean the world to me, reminders of our shared joy in giving, growing, and nurturing life. Rituals, like plants, help me process loss. Years ago, I was given wind chimes after losing a beloved dog. That kind gesture became a tradition. Now, my garden holds space for remembrance—for my mom, my grandma, and my dogs Holden and Gidget. When I hear the chimes or see the plants, I remember. Through these small rituals, I witness their lives and share their gifts. This Mother’s Day, I’ll plant something Mama would’ve loved—a living remembrance.

The quote reminded me that while grief can consume, remembrance can be creative and connective. Tending our own garden—and small moments like reflection, planting, listening, storytelling, and wind chimes—can stitch us back together. Transformation, ritual, and riding the waves of grief are all part of healing.

To anyone grieving this Mother’s Day:

Be gentle with yourself. Grief has no timeline.
Remembrance comes in many forms.
Give yourself space and grace.
Find a ritual that honors your loved one and feels right to you.

𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗹𝗲𝘁’𝘀 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸.